Grief, Grace, Forgiveness, and the Frisco Killing

Some thoughts about the Frisco stabbing death of Austin Metcalf, Forgiveness, and Family Grief

Grief, Grace, Forgiveness, and the Frisco Killing

Some thoughts about the Frisco stabbing death of Austin Metcalf, Forgiveness, and Family Grief

“Forgiveness is free, but it is not cheap. The only reason a Christian can forgive at all is because we have been forgiven.”

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A Tragedy Close to Home

Not far from where I live, in Frisco, Texas, a young man’s life was ended. Austin Metcalf, a teenager, was stabbed in the heart by Karmelo Anthony at a school-sponsored track meet on Wednesday at 10 AM. Two different boys. Two different schools. Two different races. Austin was a twin—and he died in his twin brother’s arms.

Seventeen-year-old Anthony is facing first-degree murder charges and is currently in police custody. His father claims the incident is a 'tragedy' for both families.

There is plenty of heartbreak to go around.

It’s fair to say that the killing rocked the high schools in Frisco, where my grandchildren attend. At dinner that night, my three teenage grandchildren told me their school was shaken up. It was all we talked about all day, they said. I drove my youngest granddaughter to a church prayer meeting that night at Hope Fellowship. The place was packed with kids.

I cannot imagine the grief load on Austin’s family. Nor can I imagine what it would be like to be the parents of Karmelo. There is grief and heartache everywhere.

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A Father’s Astonishing Act

In the midst of overwhelming grief, Austin’s father did something astonishing—he forgave the attacker. Quickly. Publicly. From his heart.

In many ways, that act was beautiful. I do not know the family, but they appear to be strong and committed Christians. I don’t know how anyone could forgive another apart from the leading and example of Jesus Christ. After all, Jesus said from the Cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Forgiveness is central to the Christian life. And as someone once said, “To withhold forgiveness is to drink poison and expect the other to die.”

But the rest of the family wasn’t there—at least, not yet.

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The Honest Weight of Anger

I saw the mother and the surviving son in an interview on The Will Cain Show. They were filled with another honest emotion: anger. Their grief was still fresh and burning. They had not yet arrived at the place of forgiveness. That doesn’t make them wrong. That makes them human.

This contrast—the father’s quick forgiveness and the family’s raw sense of injustice—raises an important and challenging question:

Is it possible to forgive someone who has not admitted guilt, acknowledged the wrong, sought to make it right, or even asked for forgiveness?

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Is Forgiveness Ever Premature?

Let’s be clear: forgiveness is never wrong. But it shouldn’t be rushed.

We need to draw a distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is the release of hatred, rage, and vengeance. Sometimes, it’s offered almost in self-defense—because our human heart cannot carry the weight of anger any longer. Forgiveness is saying:

“I release my rightful claim to vengeance and hand it to God. Let the justice system do its work. But I’m stepping back because my wound is too deep to be poisoned by hate.”

That is very different from reconciliation. Reconciliation requires both parties to come to a meeting of the minds. It demands truth, accountability, and a desire to restore.

Forgiveness is letting go; reconciliation is holding on.

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Grace Is Free, But Never Cheap

With that said, the father’s act of forgiveness is admirable. It’s brave. But forgiveness isn’t always a fixed position. It’s a journey. And it would not be surprising if there are days when his grief catches up with him, and forgiveness feels harder to hold. The human heart is complex—and grief has a way of circling back.

The rest of the family has their own path to walk, and their timeline may be different. That’s not unfaithfulness. It’s just the honest process of sorrow and healing.

My concern in writing this is to caution against confusing speed with depth. Just because forgiveness is quickly offered does not mean it is cheap or shallow. Forgiveness is free—a gift of grace—but it is not cheap. The only reason a Christian can forgive at all is because we ourselves have been forgiven. And that forgiveness came at a great price.

Jesus paid that price. And His claim on those who follow Him is this:

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Forgiveness does not deny the pain. It does not ignore justice. It does not excuse wrongdoing. But it does mark the Christian path.

And sometimes, it takes time to get there.

Grace and Peace,

David Roseberry ☩
The Anglican

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A Collect for the Families and the Healing of Broken Hearts

O God of mercy and justice, whose heart grieves with the brokenhearted, bring comfort to those who mourn, strength to those who are angry, and peace to every soul weighed down by sorrow. Heal the wounds of this tragedy, both seen and unseen, and guide all who suffer into the light of your truth and love. Teach us to forgive as we have been forgiven, and grant us the grace to wait upon your justice with hope and trust, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Anglican is the Substack newsletter for LeaderWorks, where I share insights, encouragement, and practical tools for clergy and lay Christians. I’m also an author of over a dozen books available on Amazon.

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